the dumbest childhood lies i ever told

and how my karma is being repaid for telling them.

1.  no, i didn't spill blue food coloring on the carpet.
note that my dad and i were the only ones who lived in the apartment

2.  no, i didn't set a tissue on fire, freak out that it was burning my fingers and drop it on the floor, which left a circle of charred carpet there.
(apparently i had some sort of vendetta against that apartment's carpet)
thank goodness my dad had a cup of water on his nightstand, or that could have really gotten out of control.

3.  i didn't burn the pot pies in the toaster oven on purpose!  (can we go to mcdonalds?)
i actually did this once or twice by accident, but once i caught on that mcdonalds was the result, i did do it on purpose a couple of times when i just couldn't face eating another pot pie.  i'm sure dad caught on to this, but i never got in trouble for it.

4.  i wasn't watching cartoons.  i was doing my homework.
i wasn't allowed to watch cartoons, but it was very tempting when i was home alone after school.  i would forget to put it on the channel dad left it on the night before.  then when i figured out that i needed to do that, i also had to learn to put it on the correct "last" channel, since that could be checked as well.  there was no cartoon network then, but dad being the tv man that he is knew which channels showed cartoons after school.  

so now i'm getting karmic retribution for telling these ridiculous lies by my kids telling me ridiculous lies.  only now i can't always completely prove them because there is a minuscule chance one of the other kids could have done it.

 

okay, i can tell whose shoes have been left in the floor, but it's still a ridiculous lie.