Family Meeting

oh look! random brain comic!

so it looks like it's been two whole years since i've made anything happen with this.  sorry about that.  

well, it looks like it's not going to get much better, since here i am dropping another lame brain comic.  at 3:47 am.  

i just hope that doing this will appease my brain enough to let me get maybe two more hours of sleep.  

so here we go:

ten creams of perpetual tardiness

at a party we had recently, some of my friends were marveling at the greatness that is my mom's skin. and it is truly fabulous. but it comes at a price. not the gross kind where people put monkey placentas or whatever on their faces, but the kind where your loved ones have to wait around for you for hours while you apply these creams just to go to the farmer's market. 

at least all this waiting around prepared me for the endless hours of my life i've wasted standing outside restrooms waiting for one kid or another to take a dump.

so without further adieu, here are the ten creams of perpetual tardiness:

clinique redness solutions cleanser cream

clinique clarifying lotion 3

clindamycin phosphate 1%

desonide lotion 0.05%

estée lauder idealist pore minimizing skin refinisher

clinique repairwear intensive eye cream

estée lauder resilience lift extreme

clinique redness solutions daily relief cream

clinique redness solutions daily protective base

estée lauder equalizer

bonus nighttime cream!

estée lauder advanced night repair

(look!  i even made helpful links for you! not because i can make any money from this junk, but because i like to be helpful.)

so i hope all of you who are better at maintenance than i am can benefit from my mom's fancy regimen.  i will obviously just slowly start looking like an old dried up raisin, since my patience for these things is so very low.

pyromania and drunk driving

a few days ago, my parents went to asheville and were worried that they'd left the coffee maker on, so they asked me to go over and check it.  i could not resist the opportunity for more santa pranking.

we were having a party that night, so i left our van over there to add a parking space and walked home.  the next day i came to get the van and saw this peeking through the window.

guess what he'd been doing? 

no wonder that police car was hanging out at the end of our road!

i haven't been able to come up with a good retaliation idea all this week. suggestions?

It's the most creepy-ful time of the year!

i had to go over to my parents' house to get something while they were at work, so i left this for them. and of course the creepiest santa in their bed.  i'm a bit scared of what vengeance will fall upon us.

for a larger photo of this creepy guy, go here.

vexing

my family vexes me with things like this.



one of these will go bad before they are both consumed.

shower products

  

why do they all look like spooge?

granted, it has been quite some time since i've had a chance to look at the genuine article in real life, and i'm not so sure i actually did look at it then, so you be the judge.

shampoo:

 

conditioner:

face wash:

body wash: